He Takes Days to Text Back How Should I Respond

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Sometimes he texts you back right away and other times, he takes his time. What does it all mean? Let's dive right in and decode what your guy's texting speed means for how he thinks about you.

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   He's definitely interested if his texts are lightning fast. Sending you messages before you get a chance to respond is his way of trying to get your attention and keep the conversation going. Are you messaging on a platform that shows three dots or a "typing" message when the other person's online? If he can see you're typing and he still shoots you a new message, chances are he's super into you.

   • If you like him, respond to his texts as soon as you see them to show you're putting in the same effort.
   • If you're not into him, be clear and honest to be respectful of his time and energy. Say something like, "I think you're super cool, but I think we're better as friends."^[1]
   • When you like him but the texting gets too much, don't be afraid to say "Hey, I'm busy right now, but I want to talk later!"

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   Quick responses generally mean he likes you. Look at the types of messages he's sending to get a better picture. Longer messages, compliments, personal stories, and lots of questions mean he's looking to continue the conversation while shorter messages might mean he's not interested.^[2] Also, look at how consistently he responds quickly. If he responds to your messages quickly all the time, it's a great sign he's interested.^[3] Try this:

   • Ask him: "What're you up to?" and check both how fast he replies and what he says.
   • If he says something like "nothing much" and leaves the conversation there, he might not be super interested. If he responds quickly with what he's doing and/or asks what you're doing, that's a good sign!

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   Several minutes is pretty standard texting time. He might be doing something else, hanging with friends, or trying to think of something good to say.^[4] A 10-20 minute response time is still pretty quick, so he might be interested! Again, check the length of the texts he's sending, how consistently he responds, and see if he's asking you questions to move the conversation forward.

   • Shake up the conversation with an open-ended question like: "What's the best thing that's happened so far today?"
   • Keep the conversation lighthearted and fun by sending a GIF or a meme from something you both like.
   • Throw in a compliment to show him you're interested: "Has anyone ever told you you've got a really cute smile?"

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   What does his schedule look like? If he's at work or school, texting after about an hour is probably appropriate and normal—even if he's into you.^[5] When you're texting busy guys (and guys who just need a break from technology), don't sweat a response that comes after an hour or two.

   • When he's a slow texter, you can always ask to call or video chat: "I'm slow at typing. Wanna call instead?"^[6]
   • If you're really interested, be direct and ask for a date: "Hey, do you want to talk in-person? We could plan a picnic on Saturday?"^[7]

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   There are two possibilities here! First, he might be testing you or playing 'hard to get' to see how interested you are.^[8] On the other hand, he might not be that interested.^[9] People check their phones an average of 58 times a day, so after several hours, he's probably seen the message.^[10] Don't worry, just give him time and see if he replies and tries to continue the conversation!

   • To check if he's just testing you, send him a question about himself or his interests: "What got you into fixing bikes?"
   • Check in about something he's mentioned recently: "How'd the game go today?"
   • If you don't know him well, connect over something happening in the news or pop culture: "Are you watching March Madness? One of my friends is playing."

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   Look to see if he offers a reason for not responding. His life might've gotten super hectic, or something could've come up. Still, when he's texting back the next day, it's time to look at other signs he's interested:^[11]

   • He pays attention to what you text and asks about parts of your messages.
   • He uses lots of flirty emojis (hearts, blushing faces, etc.)
   • He gives you compliments and tries to make you laugh.
   • Instead of responding, give him a bit of space. See if he'll initiate the conversation.

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   Check the amount of time he's had to reply. If it's more than 8 hours, something serious has come up in his life or he's not interested.^[12] While leaving you on read shows you're not his top priority for now, use the time to refocus on yourself and make yourself your top priority!^[13] Go do something fun and take some time before trying to follow up.^[14]

   • Re-read your last message to see if it actually asked for a response. If your last message was just a short comment, it makes sense that he wouldn't respond. Ask a question or shoot him a "How's it going?" text to get him to reply.
   • If you're in a relationship with this guy, speak up if it bothers you: "I feel disappointed when you read my messages but don't respond. If you're too busy to talk, that's totally fine but please let me know you're busy."
   • If you're still interested and don't know him well, just be direct: "Hey, I'd love to grab coffee/drinks with you sometime. How about this weekend?"

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   You're one of the first things on his mind! Whether he starts a new conversation with you or continues the conversation from the previous night, he likes you! "Good morning" texts are a classic romantic gesture. Let him know you appreciate the message and respond quickly.^[15]

   • "Good morning to you, too! Hope you have a great day."
   • "I was just thinking about you."
   • "Hey, how'd you sleep?"

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   Odds are he's interested in you. You might be the last thing he thinks about before going to bed. Just remember only receiving late-night messages might be a sign he's interested in a casual relationship rather than a serious romantic relationship.^[16] Here are some ideas of goodnight texts:

   • "I'm hoping my dreams are as sweet as you."^[17]
   • "Ugh. If I go to bed that means I don't get to talk to you!"
   • To hint you want to keep talking during the week, say "Goodnight! I'll talk to you tomorrow."
   • If he starts texting you too late, set a kind, clear boundary: "Thanks so much for the message. I actually go to bed at 10, though. Would you mind texting me before then?"^[18]

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   Responding at random times during the day is an awesome sign. That means he's thinking about you during the day and he wants to keep you updated and potentially involved in his life. He doesn't want to miss out on talking to you.^[19] If you're interested, don't be afraid to respond quickly to keep up the conversation and show your interest. Break out of the standard "how's your day?" texts by trying these:^[20]

   • "If you could spend a day doing only one thing, what would it be?"
   • "What's something you like but everyone else hates?"
   • "Pick three words to describe yourself."
   • "What's your perfect weekend look like?"
   • "What's something about yourself you wouldn't ever want to change?"
   • "Last song you sang out loud?"

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He Takes Days to Text Back How Should I Respond

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